Subway

I wrote this after my first subway ride by myself. It was magical.

The tracks are black and imposing. My stomach is in my mouth. Should I be worried? I’m all alone underneath the earth. I am alone with the rattling. Do I trust? I take the plunge. Risks are for the living. Sitting there I feel the excitement flood my senses. I don’t know what’s about to happen, and finally I don’t care. I’m not stressing just embracing. I am rumbling down the dark tunnel. I glance around everyone is dead to the world. They are deaf and unresponsive. I-pods, books and newspapers populate the area. I sit by the window and realize suddenly there are just the dark tunnel walls to stare at. People, although unresponsive, are much more interesting. All at once we pop out of the dark and come to a stop. The doors open. Two seconds are given to decide to get on or off. Quickly now here someone comes. He sits as far away from strangers as possible. I am surprised at how long I can stare at people without them noticing. It’s almost voyeuristic. I am looking in at their lives in progress. My stop is coming. I feel excited but sad. My experience is coming to an end. I take a long look at the people in my vicinity, as eyes finally meet mine. I have forgotten the proper thing to do. Instead of smiling I keep staring at eyes that aren’t moving. Then I remember and smile. Better late then never. I step off the train away from the tracks that go on, it seems, continuing forever. I leave behind the people sitting there with blank faces. They are unaware that they have been a part of my life. I silently say good bye, savoring the experience. I emerge from underground. I momentarily panic. Will I be able to find it? There it is just where they said it would be. Extreme elation replaces worry as I hop and skip gleefully to my destination. I have done it, and alone as well! I and brimming with pride and joy, as I skip into warm and welcoming arms…