Happy Aniversary

Three years ago today I was driving home from Nevada with my brother Stephen with the windows rolled down and the heat rushing in. At 5 o'clock that night something life shattering happened. About 2 years ago I wrote this poem about what happened. It's not professional or anything. It's just a 15 year old kid being sad.

In this world, my sister and I, we sit together in an embrace.
She falls away.
The world crumbles.
Except for me.
Not hurt, not injured.
Dead.
I go home to find an invasion of unwanted strangers.
“Get Out!” I yell, but just on the inside.
I sit.
Dead.
Just like her.
The infant is given life.
No more. Just life.
No memories.
The Daughter, She doesn’t understand.
She cries for her Mommy.
My head lowers.
We sit and wait and watch and cry.
The sky darkens, but no one sleeps for fear of dreams.
The daughter is only three.
The infant is crying.
They want their Mommy to come home.
She never will.
Never.
People talk and pretend to understand.
I was given a chance.
I didn’t realize.
I didn’t understand.
I missed it, the most important thing.
Love.
Why?
The roses…
The white roses and silver ribbon.
The roses disappear.
I will never see them again.
I want to make them shut-up.
I shut them out.
I go numb and disappear.
Time passes and never comes back.
I awake from my slumber.
The daughter has a new Mommy.
Forced to forget and abandon.
I faint away.
I get pushed aside.
My own family deserts me.
Everyone sides with them.
Red hair forgotten
Wild Spirit lost.
Don’t worry.
I have her safe with me.
I remember.
I don’t replace names.
I love my sister.
A cut.
Deep in me.
It scabs.
It gets ripped away.
Tearing the flesh.
Again it scabs.
Scrape away the skin.
When will it heal?
Never.
Peel the scab.
Again and again never healing until…
I Die…
I’m just waiting to die.
To see…
My sister.